♥ -- ћot & ċold -- ♥

[Livia♥Jared]

♥ -- ћot & ċold -- ♥


By ♥Livia♥

You don't really want to stay, no
But you don't really want to go



You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up



Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get of this ride.

+thanks so much Julie for the gorgeous banners! <33
+an other story, i know, sue me
+if you r&r, ILY<33
+Livia<33
[2009]

[Livia♥Jared]

CHAPTER 1



you're hot then you're cold.



Livia's Story

It all started when I was 10 years old. I moved to a new street, a new town, a new state, and I left everything I knew and loved behind. We moved because of my father's job, but he had promised me it would be the last time. Being daddy's little princess, I believed him, and I was right to do so, since it was the very last house I lived with my parents in. My father was in the army, and my mother was a journalist, which meant I didn't get to see them as much as a normal kid sees their parents. At least, I had my brothers, and I could always count on them. Billie was the oldest, which means that when we moved, he was already 15 years old. Max is the youngest, and he was 7 years old. Billie had a lot of responsibilities, and sometimes, I feel like I owe him a lot for taking care of me while he could have been out with some friends at the movies, or doing other teenagers activities. But Billie preferred to take care of me and Max, or at least, that's what he says. When we moved, it didn't change. The three of us would always sleep in the same bed when our parents were not home, and when they were, we'd stick to them like glue, and they actually liked it. I only have good memories of time with my parents.

And that's when I met my best friend, Jensen. The only guy who confused me, the only guy who made me feel important, and I even dare to say, the only guy I ever loved. He was 13 years old when I first met him, and he was already gorgeous with his deep eyes. They were unique, a mix of light brown and dark green, the kind of eyes you can easily get lost in. His features were perfect, and I couldn't find a mistake God could have made when he created him.

I had just got out of my parents' car, and they were unpacking different boxes when he stopped playing, letting his ball roll to my feet. He turned around to look at me and when our glances met, his lips curled on the right, digging a cute wrinkle on his cheek. I was charmed immediately. I had fallen in love for the very first time, and most probably for the very last time, too.

"Hey, I'm Jensen."

I had stood there, motionless, staring at the beautiful boy in front of me, and I couldn't believe he was actually talking to me. I had let my dark brown hair fall on my face, hiding parts of my eyes and had looked down quickly. I took the ball and threw it back at him, somehow hoping for my heart to get back to a normal beating. I also wanted to run away, but my legs wouldn't move. I was completely hypnotized.

"What's your name?"

Licking my lips, I mumbled my first name, hearing my own voice shake despite the low tone I had used.

"Olivia?" he repeated with a nod. "That's pretty."

The sound of his voice was clear and melodic, I felt bewitched.

Only some weeks later, we were inseparable. I didn't know why he had chosen me, and even now, I can't find a decent reason : he could have found someone better, prettier, smarter. But he only cared about me, and he kept repeating it over and over again. I had just turned eleven, and I was head over heels... and he knew it. He knew me better than anyone else, and although it should have been scary, it was actually very comforting. The first time he invited me over for the night, I almost choked on my drink. It could seem weird for a boy to invite a girl over, but at that time, I didn't think much of it. I just wanted to spend as much time as I could with Jensen. I had begged Billie to go, and he let me. Now that I think about it, I don't know why, but it doesn't matter, because if he had not, things would probably be different now.

We had spent the evening watching scary movies, and when it was time to sleep, I was too scared to close my eyes. I had walked up to his room, and without thinking, I got under the cover, feeling his soft skin against mine. I was only a kid, but I remember being nervous at the thought of being so close to him. He was not asleep yet, and I didn't have to say anything. He surrounded my shoulders with his arms and slowly put his lips on mine. It was warm and wet, and felt like a rainy spring day. It tastes like him, sweet and sour together, the best of both worlds. I don't know how long he let his lips stuck to mine, but I wanted this moment to last forever. It was our first kiss.

The years passed by, and I joined him in high school. I was extremely excited to be able to spend my days with him, but my happiness quickly changed into disappointment when he ignored me on the first school day. I don't even remember how I managed through the day, but right after school, I went to knock at his door to find out what his problem was. He had let me in with his nothing but extraordinary smile, and at this exact moment, he was already forgiven. I had no idea at that time how hurt I'd get, but all I cared about was him.

"We go to the same school and suddenly, you don't know me?" I asked rudely, my hands on my hips.

He walked closer to me and put his arms around me. I gave up, letting the warmth of his body invade my own.

"I'm sorry." he apologized. "We're in different grades, and we have a different clique." he added. "Doesn't mean we can't be best friends."

I didn't reply and lay my cheek on his shoulder, smelling his perfume. I let him drag me into his room, and take off my clothes like nothing had happened on that day. He did it slow, and sweet, and every time his hand touched a part of my body, I felt incredibly special. He had a way to make me feel like the only girl on earth. I was 14 when I gave him my virginity, but what was my most precious possession, he already had. My heart.

My brother told me he used me, but deep inside, I knew he was wrong. Jensen loved me in his own way. He just didn't know how to show it half of the time, but the other half was totally worth it.

"I love you, Livia."

I heard these words from his mouth when I was 18, and It was the very first time I was repeating those. I had boyfriends, and had cheated on all of them with Jensen, because I was sure he was my soulmate. And I still believe it with every fiber of my body, heart and soul.

We were meant to live together until the end of the world. It was written in the sky, it was engraved in my heart. I was just waiting for the love of my life to realize he had to stick to being with me, and only me, the way I was ready to be engaged and faithful to him. He had to decide what he wanted between love and tears, between sweet and sour, between happiness and pain... he had to choose between hot and cold.

+thanks so much Julie and Danielle!<33
+let me know if this is crap, okay?
+Livia<33
[2009]